End of my imaginary world.
So, I am in love with someone. I am getting sick, knowing
all the realities and I cant face it.
Trust me, when you
are in love, one side of the reality shuts down for you.
You IGNORE lots of
things, bcz. You don’t want to see those. Bcz. You don’t want to accept.
Doesn’t mean, it doesn’t
exists.
Offcrse! It does.
I am in love, and I have
problems, that my guy is having sex outside.
Well, I should not e!
Love never creates
boundaries. Love means freedom.
So, I always belived, I should not force someone. I gave him
his space, time.
How can I stop
another persons life? His way of living, his way of thinking?
Specially when he is
a Foreigner, another culture, another lifestyle. Another world.
Another upbringings.
I am Indian, and
world for me is, what I have lived in. what I have been reading and learning.
But don’t you think, I
am one small frog in well?
the world is a big
ocean.
We had age gaps. M 24, he is 42
Can you see the difference?
I talk a lot, he is not into a habit of sharing, so he keeps
quite.
Can you see the difference?
For me, I was in love, we used to go out on weekends, have
fun. Some times sex. That’s it.
I used to work all weekdays.
We were not staying together. So I don’t know what’s
happening on the other side.
I always believed, what I was told.
But, do I trust him? Do I believe him?
Love, doesn’t ask for certificates.
So, why needs to
justify himself, for what he is doing?
He is old, mature,
experienced.
He never said- we are
into relationship.
It was in my mind.
He says- always remember, I love you.
Few days back, when I
write the same. I get ? IN REPLY.
He says- I am a very nice person, and he really appreciates
it.
He likes , when I am around.
Who would like to
loose this kind of guy, who is creative, interesting and good looking too.
But the question is- do I want this?
I am writing and making use of this moment. We all know, its
temporary, yes, it will take me time.
But I will get OVER IT.
Its not IMPOSSIBLE
too.
My question is –
I always believed in love, had a idea of love, and I tried
it, didn’t worked.
Bcz. I was trying to
make someone else, believe in same.
Isn’t it wrong?
I am workaholic, I enjoy my work. So I keep doing extra
works too. For my own satisfaction.
And he couldn’t go
along with me longer. He got bored, or may be, he found something more
interesting too.
So now you think, he
is wrong?
Well, now, I think, the whole idea of LOVE, RELATIONSHIP,
into todays world, where people are so F….ked up into their head by work
pressure, technology has given them options to entertain themselves.
And everyone is doing the same.
Is it wrong?
Ok!!! Accepting my faults.
I AM CREATIVE
I AM IMPULSIVE
I AM GAY
I AM INDIAN
I HAVE MIND SET UP FOR EVERYTHING, LOVE TOO
I AM OPEN MINDED, BUT NOT MUCH EXPOSED TO WORLD. I MUST
TRAVEL AND EXPLORE.
Love doesn’t asks for anything in return.
And first thing we do
is to- start with expectations.
Last week only, I was fighting with my family, for my own
orientation.
I am not being nice to my own family, how can I expect
someone else to be nice, honest, and loyal to me?
KARMA!!!
My parents expected so much to me, everyone. Bcz. I am their
kid. When I go against them. Do you think, I will be able to get all happiness,
I wish?
No
Now, after 3 months of knowing someone, doesn’t makes much
difference too.
I also know the same,
what you people know about him.
Do you think, it was too much?
3 months? Too early to decide anything.
When I was born, I had some dreams, passion.
And now, bcz, I met
this guy, doesn’t mean, I change my dreams?
Yes, I liked him, doesn’t
mean, I stop living!
When I was born, before then, he was having sex somewhere!
He is 42 baby, I am
24.
Do you understand where is the problem coming?
I am fu…ked up into my own head.
Bcz, I think, I expect.
He was everything for me, I was nothing
Do you see the difference?
EVERYTHING?
NOTHING?
Never let anyone else actions control you.
I had this feeling already too. I sensed it. I tried
talking, he didn’t had anything to say. So we couldn’t discuss it.
Anyways, he knows, I knew it too.
Good thing- he taught me, how to do online ticket bookings.
Now, I can travel the world.
Open my mind
Think free
Isn’t it beautiful , LOVE MADE MY LIFE EASIER!
I am glad, I came out of it. It was a trap
Created by my own!
I was that insect, who was creating trap for himself.
#istilldobelieveinlove
But I need to grow up too!!
