I WROTE IT, WHEN YOU WERE NOT WITH ME

 

Oh my dear lover,

I  want to show you mirror today.

3:37 AM-

You have seen my body, my sexy curves, you said- you can keep looking into my eyes, whole life.

There is also another side of story, where u cant keep hugging me, when I cuddle you, while I sleep, you abuse me.

Which reality, I believe?

You kissing me infront of your friends? Or you abusing me, when I am alone.

I cry in washroom, by covering my face in pillow, so that you do not hear to it.

And yes,

 You did not hear it.

How do I give you my assests, just looking at your pocket. Yes, there are differences between you and me.

I see it everywhere.

In my family, I have four room for 8 people. You have 5 rooms, for just you.

My monthly salary is the expense of you one day.

What more, I say.

But, there are differences other side too. Where I still think of you. After accepting all. But, you do not bother to look at my mail even.

4:23 AM-

oh, love

Your ex was the one who cheated on you.

now, you are my ex. who should I believe now?

you? ( who asked me, what do I offer to you? In spite I offered you my soul, body seems to be little instead).

when I look into your eyes, I felt, you are in need. you need a company.

I pity on you. and so, I came closer. I care for you like my own baby.

I should not talk of our things between. I still feel in love, when I sat in your lap, when there was no more space in car. you were kissing me all the way.

we fantasies of love, where we talk of spiritual connection, the mind, soul meeting, finding their own comfort into this world.

reality is, you just look at your own comforts.

 you call me anytime, you need. I waited for you on road for 3 hours. while you were having fun, with a stranger.

and I was praying for your well beings, thinking something is not ok.

yeah, right, you blame, we have distance issues, you need pleasure always, and so, you keep meeting people.

is it because of love? or the lust?

the lust, which you are grown with. the indefinite lust, which keep growing inside you, more you grow.

I was thinking, I am a kid, I might be wrong, and immature. so, I always listen to you blindly.

but, the reality is- you do not look into eyes, when someone crosses from front, you stare at the zip.

 

realities,

when I introduced my friends to you, my friends got a idea, I am the one, who is cheating on you.

now, when they see me talking of you, even after 2 years of meetings. see me crying, asking for suggestions, when I get fed up talking to walls.

 they know the realities now.

to be very frank, love.

all what I needed from you is caring, a good moment together, good memories of life, where I proudly share with our kids, when we grow older.

poor me, I had dreamt of our old days too.

I still think of you, how you would be now, happy or still searching for lust.

here, I would just request you, a suggestion from a stranger, who you won't admit knowing now. lust is superficial, more we go into depth, more we get lost, we start believing, its more deep inside, and more pleasure we get.

I must tell you, even the whole system blasts also, you won't find the SATISFACTION.

bcz. its not about the system, its about you.

where you feel satisfied. a cute smile of you,  a sweet cuddle, a beautiful face o you, shinning eyes, when I woke up, or the gayish hello, when you used to talk to me, saying- hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii....:::) wass up?

and I used to jump.

or the other side of story, where you keep craving, cheating your partners, lovers, parents, relatives, roaming all over the city. and searching inside pants.

where you measure length, and move on, for more longer sizes.

 

5:10 AM

dear lover,

if I would have know, I would have asked god, to add all my height to just one part- hands, legs and may be he length of my pubes too, which I keep cutting and still they grow,

I am so sorry,

 but, this is how, I have known you

I regret, why I know you?

because, still when I take your name, I imagine two faces- One which I have always loved, dreamed of. the sweet, cute ones, who I can still run and hug. say sorry myself. and kiss you.

the other one, which is the reality, where you ignore my calls, excusing, you are with your parents, busy with DIWALI prayers.( Diwali, festival of lights, goddess of wealth, prosperity in India).

while someone else, answers the call, saying- you are in washroom. I do not want to assume, who he was, and what were you doing with him. when sometimes, all of a random, you call and say, you are craving for a JOB to BLOW.

 5.42 AM

my dearest,

I wish, I could been the same as others, would have done the same.

 but, who I am then?

I have always found myself different than the others.

you made me realize UNIQUE too.

how could I use you, when I love you?

even if I do, there must be someone there ready already for me too.

should I use you, accepting, the more worst can happen to me too.

 I am sorry love.

I choose to be silent, away, and just keep dreaming. than walking on streets, finding lovers.

 

your's

unknown lover

( someone, you used to know)