What is love? And why do I need it?

I feel being usedMy feelingsMy emotions

Being a gay, it’s normal to let your body used!!

It’s someone’s choice.

Again, I would say, I was one fool,, waited and always looked for love.

INSANE, 

I don’t want to look into mirror and see someone’s face into my eyes.

I don’t want to smell of someone else’s body.

 I don’t want to think of someone, who does not have time for me.

 I do not want to be a mom and care for someone, if someone else is not interested in knowing how I am!!

What is love?
 And why do I need it?

Recalling of my last post,

 Where my ex told me, I am immature. I mix sex and love together.

 These are two different Things!!

Wow!!!

Well, I am always grateful to all those people who came to my life, taught me,, and gave me lesson of my life.

I shall be always thankful to them.

 Without their help (heart breaks, rude, mean behavior I won’t been able to come till here)

And apart from all those pain, I made till here.

Off course, the credit goes to them only!

Now, I am still 24. I try looking old, because I hate being called immature.

 I always wanted to run faster than time. Live all my lives into this single life only.

 I believed into love,

 And now, I have reached a stage, where I feel love to be a slow poison.

 Slow death.

Why do I need someone? When I love being myself

I am too loud, one can easily make out that I am Gay.

 Looking at my body language,

 My dressings,and the overall me. I go out on streets and I am one installation, new released music video who everyone wants to look at.

And someone who I am with, do not like it.

 For them, maybe It’s all my fault.

 I bet, even if you cover this piece of meat, and take me out.

 People going to look at.

 Because they are just people, a part of crowd.

Why do I suffer?

 What’s my fault?

I be honest, I try to share my true feelings. Whatever comes into my mind?

 Again, you don’t like it, because for you, I am being just dumb and sarcastic.

 What is love then?

 I can’t even share my true feelings, my views.

Right now, I feel like asking everyone, my all body parts. Tell me, what’s my fault?

Where I am wrong/?

I am one of those, who feel bad at the first reaction, but also come back and understand the deep meaning.

 My boss says- I never understand things in one go!

 Well, this is how I am then.

 If I have accepted myself like this. Why do you have problems with it?

 Still, if you have, DO KILL ME, PLEASE!!

Trust me, I am one of those, you would love to meet, you would love to listen.

 Because, I look good, and I talk sense.

 I don’t understand where my sun sign is going wrong.

 I never have been into any relationship.

 Now, I understand the true meaning, of those lines, which I use to hear all my all old days.

 When you look for things, it never comes.

So true.

 I wanted to get married to a boy, in spite of India being second populated country, I am not able to find a right guy, who I can be with more than a week, and forget about marriage.

 I feel I don’t believe in marriage anymore.

I have seen all of my straight friends getting married and crying later.

I have seen all gay couple been together from ages, and they never have sex with each other.

 They always need a spicy mixed grill to grill.

Insane again.

Why should I fool? My school teacher, my parents, or the strangers, who used to give me unwanted suggestions into my life.

Well, I do not care about any of those, I am sure, they do the same.

 I want to look into mirror and stand strong, I wish to face myself.

I am young, bold and beautiful.

Still single why?

Is there something wrong with my vibes? Lol

I am over thinking of this topic too much, off course, I need to.

Well,

Let the time come.

 Good things happen at right time.

I do not want to rush, off course not.

 All of my past wrong nos. I have dialed till now, makes me feel dirty.

I feel my body dirty; god knows how many came and touched.

 Still, I feel happy; no one could touch the soul.

 That’s what matters more.

I wish to die now.

 Take a new birth, new body, and new skin.

 But how will it help,

 I will be again, into same world, where same people will come and make me dirty again.

Insane.

I must stop writing now.

Have a great weekend ahead

Xoxoxo