I WROTE IT, WHEN YOU WERE NOT WITH ME

 

Oh my dear lover,

I  want to show you mirror today.

3:37 AM-

You have seen my body, my sexy curves, you said- you can keep looking into my eyes, whole life.

There is also another side of story, where u cant keep hugging me, when I cuddle you, while I sleep, you abuse me.

Which reality, I believe?

You kissing me infront of your friends? Or you abusing me, when I am alone.

I cry in washroom, by covering my face in pillow, so that you do not hear to it.

And yes,

 You did not hear it.

How do I give you my assests, just looking at your pocket. Yes, there are differences between you and me.

I see it everywhere.

In my family, I have four room for 8 people. You have 5 rooms, for just you.

My monthly salary is the expense of you one day.

What more, I say.

But, there are differences other side too. Where I still think of you. After accepting all. But, you do not bother to look at my mail even.

4:23 AM-

oh, love

Your ex was the one who cheated on you.

now, you are my ex. who should I believe now?

you? ( who asked me, what do I offer to you? In spite I offered you my soul, body seems to be little instead).

when I look into your eyes, I felt, you are in need. you need a company.

I pity on you. and so, I came closer. I care for you like my own baby.

I should not talk of our things between. I still feel in love, when I sat in your lap, when there was no more space in car. you were kissing me all the way.

we fantasies of love, where we talk of spiritual connection, the mind, soul meeting, finding their own comfort into this world.

reality is, you just look at your own comforts.

 you call me anytime, you need. I waited for you on road for 3 hours. while you were having fun, with a stranger.

and I was praying for your well beings, thinking something is not ok.

yeah, right, you blame, we have distance issues, you need pleasure always, and so, you keep meeting people.

is it because of love? or the lust?

the lust, which you are grown with. the indefinite lust, which keep growing inside you, more you grow.

I was thinking, I am a kid, I might be wrong, and immature. so, I always listen to you blindly.

but, the reality is- you do not look into eyes, when someone crosses from front, you stare at the zip.

 

realities,

when I introduced my friends to you, my friends got a idea, I am the one, who is cheating on you.

now, when they see me talking of you, even after 2 years of meetings. see me crying, asking for suggestions, when I get fed up talking to walls.

 they know the realities now.

to be very frank, love.

all what I needed from you is caring, a good moment together, good memories of life, where I proudly share with our kids, when we grow older.

poor me, I had dreamt of our old days too.

I still think of you, how you would be now, happy or still searching for lust.

here, I would just request you, a suggestion from a stranger, who you won't admit knowing now. lust is superficial, more we go into depth, more we get lost, we start believing, its more deep inside, and more pleasure we get.

I must tell you, even the whole system blasts also, you won't find the SATISFACTION.

bcz. its not about the system, its about you.

where you feel satisfied. a cute smile of you,  a sweet cuddle, a beautiful face o you, shinning eyes, when I woke up, or the gayish hello, when you used to talk to me, saying- hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii....:::) wass up?

and I used to jump.

or the other side of story, where you keep craving, cheating your partners, lovers, parents, relatives, roaming all over the city. and searching inside pants.

where you measure length, and move on, for more longer sizes.

 

5:10 AM

dear lover,

if I would have know, I would have asked god, to add all my height to just one part- hands, legs and may be he length of my pubes too, which I keep cutting and still they grow,

I am so sorry,

 but, this is how, I have known you

I regret, why I know you?

because, still when I take your name, I imagine two faces- One which I have always loved, dreamed of. the sweet, cute ones, who I can still run and hug. say sorry myself. and kiss you.

the other one, which is the reality, where you ignore my calls, excusing, you are with your parents, busy with DIWALI prayers.( Diwali, festival of lights, goddess of wealth, prosperity in India).

while someone else, answers the call, saying- you are in washroom. I do not want to assume, who he was, and what were you doing with him. when sometimes, all of a random, you call and say, you are craving for a JOB to BLOW.

 5.42 AM

my dearest,

I wish, I could been the same as others, would have done the same.

 but, who I am then?

I have always found myself different than the others.

you made me realize UNIQUE too.

how could I use you, when I love you?

even if I do, there must be someone there ready already for me too.

should I use you, accepting, the more worst can happen to me too.

 I am sorry love.

I choose to be silent, away, and just keep dreaming. than walking on streets, finding lovers.

 

your's

unknown lover

( someone, you used to know)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

WITH BROKEN WINGS, I SURVIVE.....

Now, I feel- why do we need heart inside?
if it has just a function of pumping blood into the blood vessels, why I am always been blamed, about my heart to be EMOTIONAL?

I think, there is some problem into my heart only.
I wish, I could open it, and see. how it is different from the rest.

 

I am 24 you are 42

I said- I think, I am falling for you

 you said- you already love me, you feel the connection.

we have the bond forever.

its more than just love.

 

 

I was thinking of you, day night.

you were busy into your own life.

you showed me lots of dreams, lots of talks. I believed all.

 this was not happening to me for the first time. nor do I do not know, how lovers behave, after sex.

nor do, I do not know, you will be acting the same, as rest all, into my life did.

 

I had a feeling, you are true, loyal, unique.

most important, this time, I looked into eyes.

they say- eyes always speak the truth.

 

now, I ask the eyes- are you also the same?

 

i have lots of things going into my mind all the times.

i keep blaming self. and sometimes, you.

most of the times, i am happy thinking,

 good. i got another lesson.

 

well, to be very frank, i always listen to my heart.

heart is never wrong. nor do the encutions.

if i am born with a weak heart, the heart, which feels pain, than just pumping blood

mind you,

 i am born with great self respect too.

 

it might be the destiny, may be a learning lesson to me.

 but, i do not let you use me emotionally now.

 

whatever be the situations-

either u stop caring for me.

stop sending me msges.

stop responding to my calls

stop replying to my emails.

 

you can not stop me, thinking of you

 

I will pray, every day minimum 10 times  a day, with wishes-

may god, give you all the happiness, success, prosperity in your life.

 

and mind you,

 i will do it all along my life.

they say- MOVE ON.

 no, i do not want to.

 i will not.

 

i will keep loving you forever,

the heart will keep feeling about it, till it pumps blood.

for you, it might be just a casual meeting, a sex date, a stranger, whom you hug, cuddle, sleep and relax.

 

mind you,

 i am not a product, from any super market. who you use and throw.

even, products also have prices, to be paid.

 

i will not stop thinking of you.

also, i promise- i will try my best to fulfill the dreams. which were just the words for you.

 

you were talking

i was imagining

you were making stories

i was making characters

you were naming cities

i was finding locations

 

and so, it was not a bad love story.

 

you made me wait, for long.

 now, i have stopped believing in time.

the clock, seems to be moving all around the boarders only.

every day- it has morning, afternoon and evening.

every day in the week, is same. you just name it differently.

 

the more, i am growing older, more i am loosing hope,

 hope of being

being of wings.

 

i know, once i had it.

and so, i met you

and so, it happened

 

you call it love

 i call it incident.

 

they say- every love story has an END.

YES,

MY DEAR,

 

because, you treat it like a story

but, mine is not a story, nor a fairy tell.

it has pain, and i am feeling it.

 

and so, it is ...............

 

 

 

 

 

 

ROAR ( INDIA NEEDS FEMINISM)

ROAR

INDIA NEEDS FEMINISM

BECAUSE

THERE ARE 940 WOMEN TO EVERY 1000 MEN

71% OF WOMEN DO NOT WORK

35% OF WOMEN ARE ILLITERATE

APPROX 2 MILLION BABY GIRLS ARE KILLED EVERY YEAR

2 WOMEN ARE RAPED EVERY HOUR

                                                          BE THE ONE, WE NEED FOR CHANGE

PEACE OUT

BE CURIOUS,

NOT JUDGMENTAL

I PROMISE

IF YOU KEEP SEARCHING FOR EVERYTHING BEAUTIFUL IN THIS WORLD

YOU WILL EVENTUALLY BECOME IT

-TYLER KENT WHITE

PEACE OUT

PHYSICAL ATTRACTIONS ARE COMMON

BUT A MENTAL CONNECTION IS RARE

LET MY SOUL SMILE

                                     LET MY SOUL SMILE, THROUGH MY HEART
                                        MY HEART SMILE THROUGH MY EYES
                                          WISH TO SCATTER MY ALL SMILES
                                                      THROUGH SAD SOULS.

"HOW WILL YOU KNOW WHEN YOU HAVE FOUND YOUR SOUL MATE?

WILL YOU RECOGNIZE THEM, IMMEDIATELY?"

"PERHAPS.

         
                        OR MAY BE ONE DAY, YOU WAKE UP AND WATCH THE                                                      SHALLOW ELBOW AND FLOW OF YOUR PARTNER'S BREATHE,
                 AND REALIZE THAT, THIS PERSON, MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE,
                  MAKES YOU WANT TO BE THE BEST OF VERSION OF YOURSELF.
                                          NOT BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO BE.

                                        NO. YOU ARE ALREADY ENOUGH.

                                     YOU FELT IT WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING.
                  THE PEACE OF LOVE BEING ENTIRELY FOR WHO AND WHAT YOU ARE.
                                  STILL, YOU AWOKE WANTING TO BE BETTER.

                                                                NOT FOR YOU
                                                               BUT FOR THEM.- Amanda Torroni.


                                                                                                                                                           FEELS GOOD
TO BE LUCKY
TO BE NEXT TO YOU.
                                                                                                                                            OH!!!
                                                                                                                                          MY LOVE
                                                                                                                                            XXXXX

DIFFICULT, IS DIFFERENT

                                   Very Difficult to make someone understand, what you think
                              because, its very different from what i want to make them understand.
                                      as a human, they have a certain perspective towards things.
                                         the social, cultural, and lot more things, affect a mind.
                                          and so, even if i try hard, make them, understand it
                                         make them, believe, my way. i feel, it IMPOSSIBLE.

                                              i was talking to him, he never listen to it.
                                                    may be don't wanted to.
                                               his mind was somewhere else.
                              whatever, i was saying, it was putting a different vision of it.
                                                         into his mind.
                                                  and he understood it.
                                                     as he perceived it.

                                                         weird no?
                                                       yes, for me,
                                                 what is weird, does not have to be weird from others point too.

                                           WEIRD CAN BE BEAUTIFUL TOO.

DROPS or CALL IT WATEVER..

THEY SAY-

NOTHING LASTS FOREVER.

WILL YOU BE "NOTHING".

I SEE MY TEARS, WHEN IT RAINS

I THINK OF YOU. AND SEE SKY CRYING.

BEING HUMAN, WE HAVE PROBLEMS, DO SKY ALSO FEEL THE SAME?

OR IT RAINS, WHEN WE CRY.

 

CAN BE THE WASTE SPERM, RELEASED EVERY SECOND.

FOR SELF SATISFACTION OF MOMENT

LIFE EXISTS EVERYWHERE, FEELINGS ARE INSIDE EVERYTHING.

THEY ALSO CRY, THEY ALSO FEEL HAPPINESS.

JUST THE MATTER OF THOUGHTS.

HOW YOU PERCEIVE LIFE... AND WHAT YOU THINK.!!!

VOID: NEGATIVE SPACE

THERE ARE TIMES, WHEN

I  LOOK FOR MY PEACE.

SPACE OF MY OWN, WHERE I CAN BREATH FREELY.

SIT, AND THINK

TALK TO SELF.

REALIZE THE MISTAKES IN PAST, AND TRY CORRECTING THOSE.

I AM OPEN FOR OPPORTUNITIES, DOES NOT MEAN,

I AM AVAILABLE FOR ANYTHING.

SO, IS THE REASON, LOTS OF PEOPLE MISUNDERSTAND ME.

I KEEP MYSELF RESERVED,

ONCE I AM COMFORTABLE, I SHARE MY THINGS.

DOES NOT MEAN, ITS WITH EVERY ONE.

 THE HEART TRUSTS SOMEONE.

FEELS SHARING

AND SO, I SHARE.

KNOWING, SOMEONE MIGHT HURT ME.

STILL THERE ARE TIMES, WHEN YOU DON'T HAVE CONTROL ON HEART.

AND YOU FOLLOW HEART BLINDLY.

AND SO, I ALWAYS DO IT.

BALANCE IS ALWAYS NEEDED IN ANY RELATIONSHIP.

 ITS ALWAYS TWO WAYS.

 EVEN, IF I AM SO WILLING FOR ANYTHING.

 IF ANOTHER PERSON, IS NOT

 GIVING MY RESPECT, IMPORTANCE. WHICH I AM GIVING.

 AFTER A TIME, I LOOSE HOPE.

ITS WITH EVERYONE I THINK.

ITS NATURAL, HUMAN

THERE ARE POSITIVE AND NEGATIVE SPACE, IN EVERY COMPOSITION 

AND THEN ONLY, IT MAKES A BEST FRAME.

ONE NEEDS TO UNDERSTAND IT.

LIFE, GOES ON.
AND I KEEP LEARNING FROM MISTAKES.

EVERY MISTAKES IN LIFE, GIVES US STRENGTH TO MOVE ON.
AND MORE ENERGY IN LIFE.

NO WHERE..SOMEWHERE

THOUGHTS IN MIND

SOMETIMES INSPIRES

THEY TALK ABOUT ME

MY LIFE

 THE MOMENTS

I SHARED

SOME HAPPINESS

SOME SADNESS

SOME GIVES STRENGTH

SOME TAKES DEEP INTO SELF DOUBT

ALWAYS QUESTIONING SELF

AM I WRONG?

AM I HARMING SELF?

BECAUSE, I HAVE ACCEPTED.

THERE IS NO LOVE

UN TILL,

I LOVE MYSELF MYSELF FIRST.